I feel really helpless now.

I don't know what to say. Some things happened.

All this are freaking me out. 

Y, I really need air to breathe. I need to scream it out loud.

I'm afraid. Really afraid.

Alright. 

It wasn't what I thought of. Phew. Thank god. 

S, think positive. Its not like the end of the world.

Or at least, trust your heart.

Studies,

Examinations. Its gives me so much stress. I know that its the O Level year. Its going to be really tough. It makes you so stress up, afraid that you will lose out. Afraid that you are behind everyone. It just makes you feel left out. 

Believe me, its not over.

Your enermy is yourself. You will get out of your difficulties if you believe. Be a believer and, not a coward. Trust me, to me- Its not over. Wait and see. You will never know the truth. The tougher you are, the harder you fall. That's the way life is.

Alright. I believe no one knows what the hell I'm talking about. Just ignore it. 

Destress. Freaking hard to breathe.

I feel my back is getting bad to worse. That freaking back is giving me problem during the Examination, I was like shit, I got to sit up straight. Then when I sit up totally straight, Isabel say I'm crazy. And it was damn difficult for me to do the paper. Now my back is filled with that stupid sticky thing. Due to the back, my hands are weak. 

Shit, why did I write all that. Forget them.

How much can someone bear with her pain. How much can you miss someone. How much can you believe in yourself. How much can you believe in others. Why can someone bear the pain. Why does someone miss someone. Why do you have to believe in yourself. Why do you have to believe in others. What can make someone bear the pain. What can make you miss someone. What makes you believe in yourself. What makes you believe in others. 

Questions filled my heart.

Ever wonder what are you friends really thinking.

What are they thinking, about you. 

Ever met someone too nice, to you. 

Is it a blessing.

Ever felt this, 

Tried your best to do things, but things don't come out the way you want it to be.

I do have a bad feelings about some things.

I really hope its not going to happen, pray hard.

S, I think I know why I had that 不详的预感. Pray.

No. Its not going to happen. 

Examination was like, speechless. Really worried.

A. 

Hey. Press on. Nothing is impossible. That's just a phrase, but of course, there are things that are impossible. But still, its not an excuse for you to give up. You should forget the day, right. Don't forget the happy memories and insert the unhappy ones. Positive is the right word. Anyway, its really untrue, I swear. (:

B.

Why is it when I'm bored, I will think about it. Really wondering. I didn't mean to show that stone face yesterday, alright. Ok. To tell you the truth, it wasn't a very nice thing. Sorry. Hey, lunch eh. Next monday. Anything new. 

Standing Ovation. To you.

A clue is needed for what the hell is really happening.

Been a week or so.

Still seem to be cleless about things.

Changing of mindset. Of you, I guess.

I don't know. Its just like a huge question mark.

W.

I'm sorry for everything that is happening between us. I will have to apologise for what I've done. I finally understood what you used to say. Thanks. I can see light now. Okay, whatever. Btw, Disappointment. Thats the correct spelling. Tell you like, don't know how many times.

X.

I don't know what was those words for. Encourage me? A doubt to me. It makes me wonder, what you know. How much is faith worth, seriously? To me, its nothing. You have faith, and you won't get anything out of it. So what's the use of having faith.

Y.

Hey. Its alright that your brain is filled with air, for the time being. Only allow for this period of time. Remember, I'm still waiting here, for you to get me. Btw, picnic trip, Singapore Botanic Garden, deal? 19th. How's that. Shopping trip, Sembawang trip, and and many more. (: I miss you, my dear.

Z.

I claimed that I am not affected by it. But I don't know what's wrong with me today. Or yesterday. Mentally unstable. Or I'm insane. Whatever. Sorry, that day when I told you things, I think I was emotionally unstable to have told you about it. Seriously. Not that I don't trust you. Just hope to keep it. Nevermind. I'm just a brainless kid.

Words. Memories. They came into my mind, recently. I don't know why.

I guess its a sign.

Really close.

Blog is used to spill all your pain and happiness.

To share your thoughts with your friends.

But now, it seems like everyone is reading it.

Commenting on it.

Post are planned, so that no one is hurt.

Its just so not the real me.

The message that I really want to convey.

So different.

I've got to be careful with my words.

Keep the hidden messages, hidden.

Ever wondered how tiring it can be.

I can never learnt from my mistakes.

Through my blog posts, I've hurt so many people out there.

So many.

I might have apologised to them.

But, history just repeats itself.