I didnt sleep well yesterday.
My teeth, it hurts.

Read it if you think its for you.
For you:
I really hope you can think carefully. Never ever be like me. I believe you still care for that someone. You still love him/ her. Its just that now your heart is confuse. You dont know what to do next. People do change. You cant expect him/ her to be the same like before. Like the one you knew, last year. Understand? Remember think before you act. Never rush through decisions. Save it before its too late. That someone is still waiting. (:

For you:
Try your best to solve all your problems. I believe that it can be solved. You guys might have quarrelled for months. Try not to hate someone. Remember? That person came into your life, for a reason. No matter who is it. People do quarrel. Its just whether you want to save the relationship/ friendship or not. Nothing is impossible. There was once. When I was Primary Three, I hate this girl. We quarrelled almost everyday, till we the day we didnt talk at all. But, when I was Primary Five, I understand that, why do you even hate a friend. So, I tried making friends with her, once again. And, It works. So, do try. Never give up your friends and choose to be, strangers.

For you:
One full month had past. 28November. Thats really fast. I will never pull you back again. Dont worry. Well, in this month, I really learn alot. Time past so fast. No matter what will happen, I will leave it to the god/ fate. If its the end for us, one year later. Then, let it be. I will accept the fact. Trust me. Fate brought us together. And, it will have the ability, to break us.

For you:
Sorry for misunderstanding you post or something. I'm sorry. Maybe, I'm just thinking too much eh? (:
Sorry.

I'm really disappointed with my younger cousins. At the age of seven, nine and eleven, their father died, one year ago, of I forgot what. Because of that, their mom thinks that she should make up for the lost of their father. She gave in to them, in almost everything. Whatever they want is given. Which also means the mom's burden is heavier. She works for long hours. Not being at home, my grandma had no control over them at all. They got from bad to worse. They had no respect for my grand ma, rude to adults, stated speaking vulgarities and stealing. During this chalet, it really show alot. Show how much they have changed. My aunts and uncles did not want their mom to know, knowing how much she had suffered. She really try to be strong, really strong. I told the kids. if they dont change for the better, when their mom finds out, imagine how disappointed she will be. They steal things for fun. Really disappointed. They are so young. And, I didn't want the adults to know. So I had no choice but, made them promise never to steal again. Never.

When I attend the funeral, few days ago. My aunt tried her best to hold back her tears. I could see, she was breaking inside. She act strong, making sure that the funeral was going on smoothly. My cousins and her husband got back from Australia, they migrated there. They got to see him for the last time. Shush. I'll stop.

Friends are here to help you.
Not to hate them.
Try, loving them instead.
There will be problems in the friendship.
But, if you are willing.
You will be able to solve it.

I'm very tired now. Very. I got out of the chalet at 9am, this morning. I was thinking of how am I suppose to pass Zahin the file. But, no one reply me. So, forget it. I went home. Bathe &change. Got out of the house at 11 again. Dental appointment. But, before that I decided to go to Changhee's house to pick up the file. Went to school, but because I was in home clothes, I was scolded, and not allowed to go in. ): Stupid security. Phew, Haziqah &Qingning to rescue. By then, I was already late. Imagine I still have the time to train down to Cityhall. Had to call the Dental clinic, told them that I'll be late. I practically ran to the Mrt station. Look idiotic, but what can I do? When I reach the dental clinic, i thought the doctor will scold me or something. But, he didnt. Heh. Phew. He put something into my teeth which hurts so much. At first it didnt. I was hungry by then. Looking for someone to eat lunch with, but everyone was busy. Until, Xingxia told me her mom didnt cook. So I train back to Yishun Mac. I regretted eating Mcdonalds. Cause my teeth hurts now. Badly. Pain ah. Back to eating porridge, again.

Summary of this year.
Starting of this year. When I walk into 3s2. I had this fear, they were like so studious. But, after mixing with them, I found that they were fun to be with (: We love PE lesson more than History lesson. Hah. Although, we lose in most of our activities, like for sports day, but, we lose happily. We love bullying Miss Mary, but, she says nothing about it. What a nice teacher. Had a great year with them. I love my sitting arrangment as well.

Drama was of so much fun. Had National Crime Prevention Competition, Art House Performance. And, school performance. It was really fun to be with the dramatic and fun-loving people. The performance at Art House. Had lots of practices during that period of time, tiring but, fun. Really enjoyed it. And, we had to see Miss Tan, our SYF "director", after such a long period of time.

Secondary Three Camp. I hate camps. But, its a compulsory thing. So, I had no choice but to join them. I found out that I fear of heights. Hah, okay, sound stupid. Blar. Uhm, got to know many other people.

Okay, I think thats all. I will update if I remember anything else.

Okay, recently, lots of people thank others on the blog. But, after reading everything about me. I found out that, they think I'm stronger now. More matured. I dont know why. Is it the way I speak, or what I do. I dont know. What I feel is, I'm not strong, at all. But, I want to thank them for being there for me, when I need them. Thank you.

Goodnight.

Oh my goodness.
I'm damn sleepy now.
Screams.

Slept at 4am on the 26 November.
Woke up at 10am, to attend my uncle's funeral.
Oh, and I kind of hate it.
Imagine, everyone is crying in front of you.
Like I say, I'm not going to cry ever again.
But, It was kind of tough to control.
The worse was when he was sent to ____.
I dont feel like talking about it.
So ya. Thats all about that.

After the funeral,
Went off to the holiday flat.
Which is so boring please.
But, nevermind.
Cause, at least there's my cousins.

But, I cant sleep cause they were so noisy.
So, imagine how tired I am now.
I only slept for 2hours.

Today, 27November.
I went to Terminal 2 to sent the people off.
And, I saw partings. Again.
Well. Okay. Had fun with Nazry and Jason.
The father and son. Hah.

After they board the plane.
I went off with Haziqah to Terminal 3.
Woah. Its nice.
And, I bought cookies.
Although I cant eat.
But, being a nice cousin.
I'm buying for them. (:

Anyways, I'm sorry for the super long post on yesterday.
And, for posting such a short post today.
Cause, I'm going out soon again.
Back to the holiday flat.

And, I'm hungry.

Blarblar.. I will do the quiz, SOON.

My heart is bleeding.

Someone who came into you life and makes a mark.
It symbolise that you've grown.
Meeting every single one in your life is due to fate.
There is a reason.
So, why do you want to choose to forget someone.
Yes, something sad might have happened.
But, it happen for a reason.

Its 2am in the morning. And, I'm having leg cramp.
So, I cant sleep ):
Alright shall blog about yesterday.
25November.

Went to ShuXin's house in the morning. Try to help her look for her sister's ez-link card. Hah, In the end, It was in her sister's bag. But, who cares? And, her hair is short. Really short. Bad thing was, when I was out for hours, no lunch for me. Cause, of my teeth, and I'm sick, and tired of porridge. So, I decided to skip lunch. But, It make me real hungry. ): And, she ate her lunch in front of me! So, I was waiting for pig to wake up and call me.

Zahin came. I could see that he wasn't happy that I was there. So, I went off, alone. I couldn't stand sitting there. Well, It was just so.. Painful. Seeing them so close together. It only stabs me further. Showing me how dumb I was. Or was I plain selfish. Did I take you for granted? The answer is no. I take every second with you, as a chance to see you. At least, It makes my day. But now.. I cant.

I don't like comments on my behavior. So what if I've regretted, so what if I've reflected. Will anything change? I guess not. Nothing will ever change. Living in my own world, everyday. Feeling extra at any place, every single second. I feel, I don't belong. Seriously. So what if I have friends, they just seem so faraway from me. Every second, every minute, I'm losing a friend. Day by day, I will be left with nothing. Nothing.

Maybe I have changed. But, I don't know. No one ever tell me. Since that day, I started to keep everything to myself. Hiding all the truths and problems. By doing all this, I think you will move on better. I know, I'm still on the same spot, where you left me. You said that's because I didn't choose to let go. But, no. I have been telling myself the same old thing. I really need to get you off my mind. Seriously. Trying very hard. But, the harder I try, the more I break down. Sorry.

Xingxia, told me the ____ will only tie us down. And, I somewhat think its true. Cause, every single time I see the ____ hanging around my neck. It just worsen the pain. I don't know. I don't know why I am doing this, when I know its pointless already.

I try my best to smile. I try my best to act strong. Its just so difficult. Shuxin told me to trust it, trust that its going to last. But, how am I suppose to do that. One year. And, its not going to be easy. I do that by lying to myself. Is that the only way out?

I know, we are just drifting apart. So far apart, and I accept the fact. Even ____ and ____ are closer to you. Like what Haziqah say, you wont be able to forget someone that easily, especially when he or she meant alot to you. Its not easy and impossible.

Maybe, humans need time alone to think, breathe and cry. But, let me ask you, who don't hope for friends and ___ to lean on? Just tell me. No one has the ability to live alone, and face problems alone, without friends and family. No one. I don't have a family to lean on. Cause, my family is totally different from any one's. No privacy, and space. In my family, care and concern doesn't exist. Everyday, we live in our own world. With little communications, other than quarrels. Do you think, that's what I want? But, do I have a choice. I'm born in this family, and I have to live with it.

Well, I can only say my secondary 3 life is full of ups and downs. But, of course, I know, its important in life. This year is really fun, I get to know lots and lots of new friends. Knowing all this wonderful friends, is really interesting. (:

The Bananas.
Thank you for being there for me when I need you guys. Thank you. I hope our friendship will last. Seriously. Although, we have faced problems in the middle of the year, but, now that it is solved, I believe, we'll be really good friends right?

Haziqah.
Thank you. Knowing you for 3 years was really filled with fun, joy, and laughter. Although, you are irritating at times, but, that makes you special eh? Darling? Eww. Okay. Uhm, whatever that happened recently, I hope we will be able to get over it. And move on. Thank you for all the encouragement and advices, it helps. Serious. 3years is alot. So I don't think because of the new friends we made, will affect this friendship. Thank you.

Xingxia.
You are the one who gives me strength to move on. You were the one who ask me to stop crying, and face the problems. You were the one who called me a meanie. You were the one who make me smile, even for a second. You were the one who roll on the field with me, like crazy girls. Thank you.

Yeesuan.
Thanks girl. You wake me up by scolding me. You try your best to hold on to the banana's friendship when it was about to tear apart. You never fail to make me laugh with your retard-ness. You make me strong. You make me face my problems. Without hurting others. And, not blaming others. Thank you.

Jolyn.
Thank you for being there for me when I need you. Although, you don't know how to comfort others, talking to you, somehow makes me feel better. You make me know that there is monkeys in Yishun Park. And after walking for long hours, I will get cramps. Hah, you always make me laugh, no matter what. Thank you.

Shiqi.
Thank you. You came into my life, only recently. But, your perseverance really shock me. Seriously, I don't know how you do it. Thank you for going with me to the beach to scream, at least, it somehow makes me feel better. I will try shocking pink braces one day, hah. You were there for me when I need someone to talk to. You hope I can stand strong. Thank you.

Shuxin.
Girl, I don't know how long we have known each other. I think 6 years? Not sure eh. You always know how I feel without me telling you. You know what my actions always means. Like today. Walking away. Well, its good that you have Zahin, at least when I'm not around, there is Zahin. I've seen you cry, many times. And, its all for the same reason. But, every single time, it will be solved. I don't understand, why yours can be solved, and mine cant? Anyway, thanks, for being there when I need you.

Isabelle.
At the starting of the year, I was very close to you. You gave me the strength to believe in relationship. You make me laugh with all your disgusting jokes. Thank you. And, you owe me Dars. Heh. Girl, stand strong eh. I believe you are a strong girl (:

Nazry.
Thank you. You brought laughter into my life. Its fun to be with you and Shuxin. I miss the Art House Performance. Cause, that was the time we had fun together. Well, lets watch Twilight together, but that's in December 18. Have fun for your Vietnam trip.

Changhee.
Thank you. Well, I had fun during the chalet. Just felt a little left out. Thanks for the vodka. Not strong enough, heh. You were there with me when I want to go to the beach. Thank you for eating my pocky. Well, had lots of fun with you this year. (:

Kokkiong.
Thank you. You were the one who help me get out of the past and move on to the present. And, now, its the second round. Helping me? Stop emo-ing eh. Smile more. Don't treat me as a maid, heh. Go out with you soon (:

Madeleine.
Had fun at the chalet with you. Oh my god. I miss the curry maggi. Heh, super nice, cause I cook it. Well, upset you in the middle of the year. I'm sorry. Thank you, I want to plan another outing! Leonil invited?

Safwah.
I forgot how I got to know you. But, I was able to know such a cute friend was fun. You owe me stars. Hah. I think I didn't teach you how to fold it yet, sorry. Next year eh? At least you make me laugh (:

Isabel.
Thanks girl. Although most of the time, you were the one who told me your problems. But, you helped me with mine too (: And, it was really fun at the Amaths class. Kind of waste of time, but.. its fun. Don't believe, ask Shahril. Hah. Out with you soon. Promise you that we gonna go shopping together.

Lina.
You seem to know alot of my secret eh? Why did I even tell you everything. Hah. Never mind. Eh, anyways, where is my letter. Actually, you helped me alot. By making me tell you everything. That helps you know? Thank you.

Shahril.
Shock to see your name here? Heh. Uhm, yeah, you are someone to find when I'm bored. Hah. Anyway, thanks for making me think positively. (: Thank you. I had fun during the Amaths class. (: Mr Jealous. Hah.

Salim.
Thank you for coming into my life. 7months together, not really long. But, I believe our friendship will last (: Do take care of yourself eh. I'll never forget the times we spend together. And, yes, I do get jealous over somethings. But, its okay. I'm sorry for whatever I have done. Only hoping for forgiveness. That's the only thing I ask for. As for the one year later thingy, I will just wait. What would you do if you cant forget a person ? I'll choose not to forget you. Seriously.

I dont care whatever others are going to comment. I guess, I can still take comments that are ___.

Well, I jumped into conclusion.
Again. Yesterday.
Cause, it really sound like.
Sorry again.
I didnt mean to. (:

According to someone,

If you tell a guy all your problems,
that your friends doesnt know.
Its call relationship.
Not friendship.

A guy who tell you things he hides from his friends,
He trust you.
He is connecting on personal level because,
He wants to strengthen the relationship.

True eh?
I think it is.

Someone owes me dars. Heh.
Cause the cat didnt reach me.

Plan to send those going to Vietnam off.
This thursday. (:

Well, I'm not the girl,
You guys know in the past.
I'm trying my very best to survive
Survive whatever that is happening around me.
Recently, really alot happened.

28days.
Since that thing happened.
I miss you.
28October 2008
A day that I can hardly forget.
But, I'm trying.

Well, going to Bottle Tree Park later.
Cause, I'm rotting at home.
And, I'm dying of boredom.
I want to eat mcdonalds, but, I cant. ):

I just blog the Banana's blog. http://thebananafreaks.blogspot.com
(:
Its really fun to be with them.

History of bananas.
This clique, Bananas.
Started because of me.Of course. Heh. (:
It started because of a Newspaper article.
It was Mind Your Body.
There was this, 10 things about Banana.

1 Bananas don't grow on trees. Although we use the term banana "tree", it is a perennial herb, according to website homecooking.about.com. Its trunk is not a true one, but many leaves wrapped tightly around a single stem which emerges at the top as the fruit-bearing flower stalk.

2 Some banana trees can continue producing fruit for up to 100 years, although most banana plantations renew their stock every 10 to 20 years.

3 The banana is botanically classified as a berry and is from the same family as ginger, turmeric and cardamom.

4 There are over 400 varieties of bananas around the world and it is the world's best-selling fruit, outranking the apple and orange.

5 Bananas are a good source of vitamin C, potassium and dietary fiber, and contain no fat, cholesterol or sodium, according to the International Banana Assocition (website: eatmorebananas.com).

6 They also contain a rich supply of vitamin B6, providing 20 per cent of the Recommended Daily Allowance of B6. Vitamin B6 helps in protein metabolism, red blood cell formation and the functioning of the central nervous system.

7 Bananas contain more digestible carbohydrates than any other fruit. The advantage is that the body burns off calories from carbohydrates more quickly and easily than calories from protein or fat.

8 Bananas contain three natural sugars - sucrose, fructose and glucose - which can give you an instant energy boost.

9 A banana makes a good after-workout snack because it helps to replenish necessary carbohydrates, glycogen and body fluids depleted during exercise.

10 Research has proved that just two bananas provide enough energy for a strenuous 90-minute workout.

Okay, thats the article.
Sorry, Random.
I was so excited about this article, so I brought it to school.
And showed it to this, 8 cute, adorable and beautiful girls. (:
And they are, ArvinderKaur, NurHaziqahBteRosidin, ZeeWanTeng, ClaireYeeShiMin, WimiGohHuiMin, LimXingXia, SinYeeSuan, and lastly, JolynTeyJieLin.
They are so wonderful people, dont believe, ask them.
Girls, show them how wonderful you are. Heh.
As for, TanShiQi, she just joined us, recently.
Because I fell in love with her. Heh, not really.
But, its because both of us click.
Cause everything we talk about, only both of us understand.
YeeSuan, cant catch it.
Heh, sorry eh, YeeSuan.

Okay, this thursday, I'm going to the airport.
To send those going to vietnam off.
Hope they have fun.
And, now, I'm kind of bored.
Very bored. No one to talk to. :(

Byes.

Private this blog for a reason.
Not for fun and laughter.
They had been going thru my message, my email.
And, I guess, the next will be my blog.
But, even though I private it,
I believe they have a way to get into my blog.
Whatever it is,
I hope they will stop.
Cause, Its too much already.
They cant invade others privacy like that.
Its like torturing me, alright?

Just yesterday,
My uncle died. Of cancer.
Life is just like this.
So unpredictable.
And, I dont like it.
I'm Sorry.
Okay, I know we are given a chance to live,
Because of god.
So yes, I'll appreciate the chance to live.

Life is never fair.
When was life ever fair.
Think about it,
Why is animals killed, and be eaten.
Why are we born, and die after some time.
Why do we have to go thru partings.

He was such a quiet person.
He tried his best, to survive.
Fighting against cancer.
But, I guess, he tried his best.

Uncle,
Once you reach that place,
On the other planet, or whatever.
Do take care of yourself.
And, live strong.
Be strong, like how you fight against the cancer.
And, I believe, we will miss you.

Had been thinking for alot.
How can a kid live a life with no worries.
How can they fall, and stand up as though nothing had happened.
I just so love their smiles, & how they live life.
I guess, we should learn that.

Birds fly high, in the sky.
Face the great sky.
Having the most beautiful view in the world.
Flying with no regrets, and problems.
Everyone wants carefree lives.
But, no, problems are created to make you grow.
Stand strong.
Not, make you hate the world.
Try facing your problems smiling. (:

Because of my teeth being pluck off.
I cant really bite.
So I practically cant eat.
Especially, hard stuffs.
Had been eating porridge for 4meals.
And, I miss Pocky, &Dars.

Nobody's Home
I couldn't tell you why she felt that
way,
She felt it everyday.
And I couldn't help her,
I just watched her make the same mistakes
again.

What's wrong, what's wrong now?
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she
belongs.

She wants to go home, but nobody's
home.
That's where she lies, broken
inside.
With no place to go, no
place to go to dry her
eyes.
Broken
inside.

Open your eyes and look outside, find the
reasons
why.
You've been rejected, and now you
can't find
what you left behind.

Be strong, be
strong now.
Too many, too many
problems.
Don't know where she belongs,
where she
belongs.

She wants to go home, but nobody's
home.
That's where she lies, broken
inside.
With no place to go, no
place to go to dry her
eyes.
Broken
inside.

Her feelings she hides.
Her dreams she can't find.
She's losing her mind.
She's fallen behind.
She can't find her place.
She's losing her faith.
She's fallen from grace.
She's all over the place.
Yeah,oh

She wants to go
home, but nobody's
home.
That's
where she lies, broken
inside.
With
no place to go, no place to go to dry her
eyes.
Broken inside.

She's lost
inside, lost inside...oh
oh...
She's
lost inside, lost inside...oh oh...

Trying my best, not to blog about you.
Trying my best to get you out of my mind,
Slowly, everyday. (:

I pluck off 4teeth,
Because my dentist say that I have to do that.
And, then I decide to pluck all 4 at one go.
But, Its not advisable for weak people, like me.
I got headache, &no appetite after that.
Okay, shall not talk about that, disgusting.

Please, dont try to control my life.
You have been invading my privacy.
And I had enough of it.
Stop it.
Dont make me hate you, alright?

I dont know what happen to you.
But, whatever it is. I'm here, for you.
I know you prefer talking to people older us.
So, I wont force you to tell me (:
Just live the life you think its right.
And, that day I ask you to go with me to the beach.
But, you didnt want,
So I just walk out to the beach on my own.
I really think that I need time alone, to cool down.
Since that thing happen, I didnt really have time alone.
That's the only time.
It make me think about alot. (:

I know you treat me like a friend.
But, You've changed.
You said you treat all your friends the same.
But, you werent like that in the past.
I know, people do change. (:
Like I do.
Do take care of yourself.
And, you are sick.
Dont act like you didnt okay?
Remember to go to the doctor,
Although you dont like the doctor.

I miss you, so much.
I didnt see you for a very long time.
Do you know how much I miss you?
How I wish time could turn back, to happiness.
Sometimes, I wish all this didnt happen.




Fall For You- Secondhand Serenade
The best thing 'bout tonight's that we're not fighting
Could it be that we have been this way before
I know you don't think that I am trying
I know you're wearing thin down to the core

But hold your breath
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
You're impossible to find

This is not what I intended
I always swore to you I'd never fall apart
You always thought that I was stronger
I may have failed
But I have loved you from the start
Ohhhh

But hold your breath
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
It's impossible

So breathe in so deep
Breathe me in
I'm yours to keep
And hold on to your words
'Cause talk is cheap
And remember me tonight
When you're asleep

Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
Tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
You're impossible to find

Ouch!
4teeth being pluck off at one go.
Pain.

So what if you're my sister,
You have no power to check my things.
Dont try invading my privacy.
There's a limit to everything.
Just Get Lost.

The best relationship is one in which,
Your love for each other, exceeds the need for each other.

I didn't say assuming things, jumping into conclusion is fun, alright?
That's who I am now.
Assuminng things and stuffs.
That's how I feel now.
That's how you are treating me now.
That's who you are in my eyes now.
All I know is, I'm not someone you know already.

Every word you used.
Everything you do.
Breaks my heart.
That's something I didn't assume.
I kept it inside, for 17days.
Since, 28th October.

I don't know how hard it was for you to put your heart back to pieces again.
I don't know how broken your heart was.
I don't know you can't erase all the memories you had with me.
I don't know how hard it was for you to get over me.
I don't know anything.
Because, I feel so faraway from you.
You seemed so faraway from me.

Do you know how hard I'm trying?
Do you see that I'm trying?
Do you know how I feel?
Do you have to use such harsh words?
Do you have to tell me that lie?
Do you know it hurt me badly?
Do you know I need you, not as a friend?
Do you know in every post, there's a hidden message?

Forget it.

You want me to live the life before I met you.
You want me to forget about you.
You want me to move on.
You want me to remember you, as a friend.
I'll tell you this, I can't.

Don't beg me.
I don't deserve it.
Its not worth it.
Don't do it since its painful.

"I'll be a friend, but promise me you gonna move on."
Which means, if I don't move on, you won't be my friend.
Yes, I'm assuming again.

Yes, I assume things.
I assume that being in a relationship will affect my studies.
I assume that you fall for other girls.
I assume that this relationship won't be ruin.
I assume that I'll be able to forget you.
Which of the above is true. Tell me.

17days.
And, I've been living in misery.
I don't understand why you lie.
I don't understand why I did that.
I don't understand why I can't let go.
I don't understand how can your words be so harsh.
I don't understand why am I crying everyday, for you.
I don't understand why, as we drift apart, I start to assume things.
Its not that I don't trust you.
I'm just afraid.
Afraid I might just lose you, anytime.

The day we first met, It was kind of funny.But, I'll never forget, how it brought us together.
The day you went for Shuxin's birthday, was the day wse started talking, for the first time.
10th March, was the day I'll never forget, all my life.It was awkward at first, but things went well.
22nd May, was the day I did something that I regret, &was guilty about it.
3rd June, I gave you a present, the first present.
14th June, was the day I told myself, I shouldn't have hurt you. I'm going to make up for all the mistakes I've made.

24th August, was the day you gave me a present that I'll throw away. The happiest day of my life. (:
" Oh my sweetheart, you're my only one.
I can't live without you, and I can't let you go.
Cause everytime I close my eyes, I see you smiling at me.
And when I'm sleep, Its you I dream of."
10th October, was the last anniversary together.
23rd October, last day. I broke your heart.

I assume everything, is my fault.
It was my fault to choose to leave you.
It was my fault to make your mom disappointed.
It was my fault to break your heart.
It was my fault to fall in love with you.
It was my fault to go into your life.
It was my fault to miss you.
It was my fault to love you.

Xingxia, I know I shouldn't be doing this.
But, before I really make up my mind, forget about him?
The moment I get the answer I want, I'll let go.
Trust me, will you?

A shoulder to cry on.
Life is full of lots of up and downs,
And the distance feels further
When you're headed for the ground,
And there is nothing more painful
Than to let you're feelings take you down,

It's so hard to know
The way you feel inside,
When there's many thoughts
And feelings that you hide,
But you might feel better
If you let me walk with you by your side,

Chorus:

And when you need a shoulder to cry on,
When you need a friend to rely on,
When the whole world is gone,
You won't be alone, cause I'll be there,
I'll be your shoulder to cry on,
I'll be there,
I'll be a friend to rely on,
When the whole world is gone,
You won't be alone, cause I'll be there.

All of the times when everything is wrong
And you're feeling like
There's no use going on
You can't give it up
I hope you work it out and carry on

Side by side,
With you till the end
I'll alway be the one to firmly hold your hand
No matter what is said or done
Our love will always continue on

Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on
Everyone needs a friend to rely on
When the whole world is gone
You won't be alone cause I'll be there
I'll be your shoulder to cry on
I'll be there
I'll be the one you rely on
When the whole world's gone
You won't be alone
Cause I'll be there!

And when the whole world is gone
You'll always have my shoulder to cry on....

Will you ever understand how I feel?

/Edited.
He was the one who say that,
By being hard on yourself,
Then I'll be able to forget him.
I'm just doing what he told me to.
是我选择离开他的，所以这是我的惩罚吧。

Where the hell is the old me!
I'm falling soon.
I know, I should stand up,
Face the problem &move on.
But.. I can't smile at problems that I'm facing now.
How I wish I could be bang down by a car or something, and have a memory lost.

All the happiness are stain, in my mind,
No matter how hard I try,
It can't be removed.
So, I've decided to keep it in my memories.
By, keeping it means,
It won't be easy if I wanna move on.
But, I'll try my best.
My very best.

'Be who you want to be, &not be someone others want you to be.
Live your own life, with happiness.'

Yes, I broke my promise,
But, I'm sorry,
I really need to get it off my chest.

Do you actually think that I'm a nuisance,
And hope that I don't exist?
You know what,
Everything you do now, or say now,
Is really breaking my heart,
Do you know that?

You know,
I don't even dare to talk to you.
I don't dare to ask you, when is your camp &stuffs.
I'm afraid, that I'll lose you, even the one, one year later.
Do you understand the fear, the pain, the regrets, the hopes, the misses, &the love?

Yes, I'm someone who jumps into conclusions.
But, that's just me.
I regretted saying all those.
But now, there's nothing I can do.

I want to treat you as a friend,
But, you don't.
Cant we, at least, be friends?
Do we really have to hate each other?
I guess I'm the cause, again.

I didn't know that..
We actually quarrel over trivial matters, in the past.
But, this time..

All that we've been through.
Did you forget them all?
Do you even want to remember?
I guess not.

Have fun during your camp.

If I've affected you in this post,
Then I'm sorry.
I just couldn't take it, & I have to say it.
I guess, it doesn't anymore.

I've cried again, yesterday.
After faking a smile for a week.
I couldn't take it.
Yesterday will be the last time I cry.
I want to find the real me.
I really need to.

My friends, I know.
You guys are tired of comforting me &stuffs.
And, you guys know, I don't like comforts.
So I'll show you, I can do it.
我快崩溃了。我想你不在乎吧。

I'll really be waiting.
The magic of first love is the ignorance,
that it will never end.

As I promise to someone,
I wont post another emo post,
If not, I'll jump down the building kay?
Pinkie-finger. (:

Amkhub.
Went shopping there, again.
Should have gone down to Orchard.
Nevermind, its okay.
Its getting boring there.
But, the food there is nice (:
Super Yummy.

I wanna go down to Cityhall area to take photos,
But, no one wants to go with me ):
imissyou, do you know that?
/Edited.
就算我在想念他， 他应该不会知道， 也不想知道吧。

I'll be waiting, for one year.
I hope.. you'll too.

Yes, I'll be a nice girl,
Listen to what you guys say.
Cheer up.
Be who I was, In the past.
Trying.

Next year,
You'll see the old me.
Have trust in me yeah?

Yeah, thats it.
10November,
I'll wait for you, next year.

I'll move on. :)

Thank you.
You're able to move on. And fall in love.
And, I'm just a dummy standing all alone.
I've fallen apart.

Never gonna be the SIYING.
Never ever.
Its gone.
The smiles, are gone, too.

Thats it.
Goodbye.
Don't ask me to stop.
I've become someone you guys hate &don't like.
Just say, I'm a weakling.

/Edit

If something belongs to you, It'll come back to you.
But, once you let go for the second time.
It will never be yours.


I found out,
I really have no one to talk to at all.
It hurts inside,
And I cant show it.
Its been only 12days,
But, Its seems like years.
Cant I show my pain?

I know I should move on,
But, please, give me time alright?
You can say I'm a weakling.
I dont care.
But, Now I'm just someone with no feelings.
I've changed.
To someone you guys dont know. Just a heartless person.

During this 12days, I'm lost alot.
More than you believe.
And its not the end.

If you dont like the way I face my problem,
Then just leave me alone.
I had enough of the stares.
Its just so, painful, get it!

Thats just me,
How I face my problems.

Thats it.

You're feeling better. Thats good.

I'm sorry for the post yesterday.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, I'll stop.
Never again.

Forgive me, please.

And you guys,
will never understand how I feel.
I've alr lost the trust of my parents,
My friends.
And everything.
And thats it!
I'll leave with it.
And never look back.
Never.

Lately..
I've been restless, & my headache is like getting worse.
breathless.

Well, SPA,
I flunked it. :(
Nevermind, Its okay.

Practically went round Singapore today.
Thanks ah, XingXia. Heh.
Went to Prata Place,
Oh my, Its nice :D
Yummy.
I'm going back there again. With money.

Whoo! Playground-ed :D
I'm getting retarded!

YeeSuan's house.
Ah, Its big! Why am I not born in that family? :X
Watch Dark Waters, and I scream-ed.
I think its loud. Oops.

And now, Home-d.

Polky is nice, I love it. :D

A new skin.
A new life.
Decided to let go.
But, I was given stares,
That I hate.

Its okay.
I'll get over it.

Before everything comes to an end.

Enrique Iglesias- Hero

Let me be your hero,

Would you dance,
If I asked you to dance? Yes, I love to, but, I'll never be given a chance.
Would you run,
And never look back? I just did, I've hurt you badly.
Would you cry,
If you saw me crying? You wont, You will only be sad.
And would you save my soul,
tonight? You never will, step into my life, ever again.

Would you tremble,
If I touched your lips? I hope I could touch it, now.
Would you laugh? You will, with your friends around.
Oh please tell me this.
Now would you die,
For the one you love? I have no idea, but, It wont be for me.
Hold me in your arms, tonight.

I can be your hero, baby.
I can kiss away the pain.
I will stand by you forever.
You can take my breath away.

Would you swear,
That you'll always be mine? You will never be mine.
Or would you lie? You wont, stay true to her.
Would you run and hide?
Am I in too deep? I guess I am.
Have I lost my mind? I think I did.
I don't care...
You're here, tonight. You will never be by my side.

I can be your hero, baby.
I can kiss away the pain. I cant, I only give you more pain.
I will stand by you forever. Not given a chance.
You can take my breath away. Just kill me.

Oh, I just wanted to hold you. I want to, but never be able to.
I just wanted to hold you.
Oh yeah.
Am I in too deep?
Have I lost my mind?
Well I don't care...
You're here, tonight.

I can be your hero, baby.
I can kiss away the pain oh yeah
I will stand by you forever.
You can take my breath away.

I can be your hero, baby.
I can kiss away the pain.
And I will stand by you, forever.
You can take my breath away.
You can take my breath away.

I can be your hero.

I really love you,
I really do.
But, I guess, Its the end.

Goodbye.

Thank You.
I'm just a failure to you.
Have you ever cared about how I feel?
I think you don't even care.

You know what,
I feel that I don't even belong to this home, alright?
I love my friends, and whats wrong.
I need friends, &everyone needs friends!
You're the only one who hates my friends,
If thats how you're going to treat my friends,
I'm not going to respect you.
They are my choice of friends,
Do you have to even control that?

Please, I'm not an object.
Whats wrong with screaming at you,
When I'm right!
I know I shouldn't.
But, at least, I'm reasonable.

I hate this family so much.
I've lost my freedom.
Thats alright, Cause I was at fault.
For not doing well for exams.

But, Losing my privacy, is so unfair.
Will you be happy if I touch your stuffs.
&mess up with your things?

I really hate the life I'm having now.
I don't even feel I belong here.

Have you ever respected me?
You took me as an object,
Controlled me as though I'm not a human.
Please, I'm sick &tired of it.

Its so unfair.
You said you treat me well,
When did you?
You are bias towards them.

I hate being compared, btw my sisters &cousins.
So what if they do well,
I'm just me.
Not them.
Take them as your kids,
If you love them so much.

When I'm sick, do you give a damn?
When I'm tired, do you give a damn?
When I need you, do you give a damn?
You never care.

You only cared about how you feel, and stuffs.

I'm tired, really tired.
Trying hard to live with it.
But, no matter how hard I try,
I can't meet with your expectations.

I'm just a failure, alrights.

Thank you,
Just leave me alone.

It's Not Over.

My tears run down like razorblades
And no, I'm not the one to blame
It's you, or is it me?
And all the words we never say
Come out and now we're all ashamed
And there's no sense in playing games
When you've done all you can do

But now it's over, it's over, why is it over?
We had the chance to make it
Now it's over, it's over, it can't be over
I wish that I could take it back
But it's over

I lose myself in all these fights
I lose my sense of wrong and right
I cry, I cry
It's shaking from the pain that's in my head
I just wanna crawl into my bed
And throw away the life I led
But I won't let it die, but I won't let it die

But it's over, it's over, why is it over?
We had the chance to make it
Now it's over, it's over, it can't be over
I wish that I could take it back

I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart
Don't say this won't last forever
You're breaking my heart, you're breaking my heart
Don't tell me that we will never be together
We could be, over and over
We could be, forever

I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart
Don't say this won't last forever
You're breaking my heart, you're breaking my heart
Don't tell me that we will never be together
We could be, over and over
We could be, forever

It's not over, it's not over, it's never over
Unless you let it take you
It's not over, it's not over, it's not over
Unless you let it break you
It's not over

I'm sorry.
I know I'm wrong.
I'll learn from my mistake.
I hope you will forgive me,
For what I've done.

I'm sorry,
And I mean it.

All I can see is darkness.
I've been trying really hard to forget.
Forget the memories, &you.

But, I can't.
Its really hard.
I'm suffocating. I need air.

I need you, I'm sorry.
But, I guess, It wont happen.

Okay, I really hate myself.
I've cause everything, to come to an end.
I'm left with nothing.
Lose my privacy, my love, my freedom.
Everything.

I hate it.
Everything that is happening right now,
Is tearing me into pieces.
Well, screaming, laughing, crying.
They dont help, AT ALL!

I'm in a world of darkness, right now.
I'm really left with nothing.

I hate being alone.
Its painful.
Seeing others. holding hands.
It hurts.
I once own it.
But, I'll never be able to.

Shush.
I hate to say this again.
But, I wanna,
Leave this world.
For real, this time.
I don't see why I should be here!
What am I here for?

Hurt others?

Goodbye.